Notes of Interest (at least they are interesting to me)

1. First off, congratulations to the George Mason University men's basketball team for making it to the NCAA Final Four. Though they destroyed my bracket by beating North Carolina, I can't help but root for a team that nobody even gave a chance. I admire their tenacity, their skill, their heart but what I really admire is that their university has the same name as one of my favorite characters from seasons 1 and 2 of 24. Just like this upstart basketball team, nobody gave George Mason a second look. Yet, as grizzled, frumpy and irritable as he was, he went about his duties as the head of CTU with the same spirit that drove this team into greatness. I am so glad that the board of trustees of this school decided to take a chance and honor this fictional character by changing the name of their school. (As I hear it, they were previously called the Sam Beckett Quantum Leapers preceded by a stint as Cliff Huxtable University in the mid 80's)

If you were going to name a university after a fictional character, who would it be and what would the mascot be?

2. I have gotten addicted to looking at my site meter to see who has been visiting my blog. I also love seeing hos people get to my blog. Yesterday I found my favorite so far. Somebody in Washington found this site after doing a Yahoo search for "skinhead crucified wallpaper". I cannot explain the amount of pride that I have that my blog is what came up with those words.

3. On my new diet I have gotten into eating instant oatmeal for breakfast. Today I tried a new brand and it tasted exactly like ground up popcorn kernels. I think I'll go back to my Quaker Oats Lower Sugar Maple and Brown Sugar which is only 2 Weight Watcher points.

Have a great day.

Noah Webster in Blog World

Here, as promised, is the best of the verification word definitions so far. I was so impressed with the creativity of all of you that I thought it would be appropriate to gather your creations in a collection. I have added some of my own comments in italics to clarify a few things, but overall these are the brain children of many of my good friends. Now, students, go out and use these words properly in your everyday conversation.

Definitions

mykdcskv - I'm embarrased to explain this to you Spruce since you clearly know already that it's the medical condition where one's head is oversized and basically "has its own weather system." It's Scottish in origin, but has etymological roots to Russian.
For those that do not know, I happen to have a huge noggin so this definition is mostly hilarious because it is an unveiled slam on me.

qemfluyw: what Chemistry graduate students, recently returned from Star Trek conferences, make in the labs to leave on the seats of the their least favorite professors.

yirssr - one of those redneck terms, I'm sure.

dtblzzlj--very few people know that this was the word that Snoop Dog was going to go with, but at the last minute, he decided on Fishizzle, both of which (as far as I know) have a broad range of definitions, from "cool" to "sick," etc.

kuqsr- An Irish insult for a stupid male. "You stupid kuqsr, stop shoplifting my potaotes!"

gnnpfunh-a private activity held on the day before NRA national meetings. Not to be confused with rflfunh, which takes place during dove season.
This is probably one of my favorite words so far.

mdjmquga- this is the word used in the Thai culture for a woman who buys and sells babies in return for turnips.

esoecpfr - someone who writes passive agressive comments about another person on their sister's blog! Nothing like a little sibling rivalry to get the blood flowing.

lwhoet - isn't that some kind of grain Matt and Erin put in their pancakes ?
This definition might actually be true. Matt and Erin are two good friends of mine who are always trying to get me to eat things like dried bamboo, sugar free sugar, various forms of "really good" organic "candy" and lwhoet.

oafspqbg - I think that is a derogatory old Celtic word meaning "large, dumb lazy man" also translated "dumbbunny"

zclob - an ancient term used to describe the drunken beating of an innocent Zebra.
I laugh every time I read this one. Remember that zclob is different than the drunken beating of a "guilty" Zebra.

Jzeuz - um yea..you're the preacher, so help me out here.
By far my favorite non-definition

hanllo - a Germanic greeting of friendship

egcsncyq - a linear charting which illustrates the degree to which your EKG and EEG tests are in sync.

eyeojnow - One little-known piece of African history is that the song "Old McDonald" was originally written in Zimbabwe by one Mr. Wamba Dia Wamba. After an initially disappointing debut in America, Mr. Wamba changed the lyrics "EYE-OJ-NOW" to "EI-EI-O" to hasten the songs acceptance into the repertoire of common American school-children. The rest, as we all know, is history.
I have no idea where Chad came up with this but it is pure genius

Acronyms - I didn't even think toask for acronyms but I received several funny ones.

MYVIKCCU - Man, you visually intimidate kids at church of christ universities...
This one is classic, because I know that I for one do visually intimidate kids at universities. Mainly because I have a large head.

dxywyko - Darn Xylophones Yearning With Yarn Knots Often

tbdrdbm - To Be Determined Right Down By Minneapolis

Words that have yet to be defined (help me out here)

ipzvr

wumpwy

Thanks for all your creativity. Keep em coming. If nobody else finds them entertaining, who cares, I find them hilarious.

Just to clarify the meanings of these words I have decided to write a short narrative using all of the words. Here goes.

Recently I went to the George R. Brown Convention Center in Houston to attend the annual meeting of the National Organization of Mykdcskv Sufferers. I was excited to be the featured speaker at this year's convention. However, as I entered the large convention center I realized that there were several groups meeting in the large meeting rooms. Not knowing where exactly to go I entered into the first room I saw. I quickly realized I was in the wrong place when I saw Charlton Heston standing at the front yelling, "Are you ready for some gnnpfunh?" With a raucous chorus of "yirssr"'s the predominately white, middle aged male crowd pulled out pistols and began firing them haphazardly at the 200 pictures of Michael Moore that adorned the walls.
I covered my head and ran for safety.

The next room I entered can only be described as a melting pot. I realized that it was an international convention when a large German man greeted me with a hearty "hanllo" and offerred me some cabbage. I was getting slightly hungry but not being a cabbage fan I opted for a steaming bowl of lwhoet which tasted how qemfluw smells and it promptly caused me to vomit all over a stack of pamphlets denouncing the practices of the Thai mdjmquga. As I stumbled away from the booth apologizing profusely I tripped over the leg of an elderly Irishman who cursed me at such a fast speed that I only caught the words oafspqbg and kuqsr.

At this point my heart was beating so fast that it probably wouldn't register on a egcsncyq but I was able to calm myself down by listening to an African children's chorus sing a precious version of Eyeojnow. The rest of the convention was fascinating. There was a booth that promised technology that could rid the Internet of spam and esoecpfr. That was really dtblzzlj. I also read some literature about an ancient religion in which people zclobbed in worship to Jzeuz, the god of the soil. Also, very dtblzzlj. To make a long story short I never got to my convention. I spent all my time studying the cultures and the vocabularies of other people. That's all for now.

Old Fogerty

Sorry about the blog funk. I was having a difficult time thinking of blog-worthy items. In fact, I was convinced I would never blog again. Then, last night happened. My wife and I attended the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo for the second time this year. On this occasion we went with some of Jacquie's family to see John Fogerty, the former lead singer of Creedence Clearwater Revival. The whole experience is way too big to just blog about freestyle, so I have decided to do it in pieces. Here we go.

The Rodeo Atmosphere
If you have never been to a music concert attached to a rodeo then you can barely claim to be alive. It is life changing if for nothing else than the variety of smells that attach themselves to your body as you enter. Here we are in a giant half-full football arena watching men and women sacrifice their bodies and perhaps their souls to ride beasts who are dead set against being ridden all for a shinier way to hold up their pants. It is mesmerizing. That is until the vendors come by. Big rodeos are full of vendors selling all kinds of useless rodeo items at ridiculous prices. Think of it as SkyMall's country bumpkin cousin. My favorite vendor item is the multi colored spinny light thing that hurls tiny neon lights around at alarming speeds, or as I like to call it, the epileptic seizure machine. Add these lights to the sights and smells of livestock and you truly have a full sensory experience.

The Man and His Band
So after the rodeo events, which were awesome, and a long video montage, the lights come up to reveal John Fogerty, looking about as youthful and virile as Vitamin E, Metamucil, a handful of Viagra and a couple lines of cocaine can make you look. I'm not kidding this guy danced around that stage like a wild man for over an hour. Maybe "danced" isn't appropriate. He mostly jumped up and down like a Jack Russell Terrier....a very old arthritic mangy Jack Russell Terrier....perhaps with heartworms. He at least attempted to keep his youthful look by apparently dipping his hair in several vats of various shades of Just For Men.

What was also amazing was the fact that he changed guitars between each song, playing 14 guitars in all including one that was shaped like a baseball bat when he played Centerfield, which was awesome. Oh, and if you thought he was unintelligible with CCR, try listening to him with his dentures in. At one point he made Fortunate Son sound like Fortunna Duh. I know the lyrics to that song and I was still confused. Really, though the guy was an amazing performer. He put on a great high energy show and I really did love it.

He also had a really talented band with him. Of course their talent will not prevent me from pointing out their funnier sides. For instance, the guitar player who looked like the bizarre love child of old, fat Elvis and Bruce Springsteen who beat up Porter Waggoner and stole one of his shirts (that reference is for Ash T. when she checks this). Or the drummer who I believe was a member of the one-hit wonder Right Said Fred in the late 90's. You remember I'm Too Sexy don't you, well he no longer is too sexy. He has officially been demoted to just sexy enough.

The Dancing
Of course the crowd for this concert was a slight bit older than most but they were still far more into it than the crowd for George Strait who I saw last week. What you can count on at the rodeo is that by concert time the beer has been flowing freely for a while and everybody is going to want to dance. And my how we danced! Here are a few of my favorite dancers.

My seat neighbor: Next to me was a middle aged Hispanic woman who obviously did not know any of Fogerty's songs but was there to support her well intoxicated husband/boyfriend who knew every garbled word to every song. But, that didn't stop her from dancing, pulling out every major dance craze from the 20th century. I think I recognized the Running man, the mashed potatoe, and the hand jive, just to name a few. At one point when Fogerty was singing "I Hoid it Through the Grapevine" I think she even did the hand motions to Roll the Gospel Chariot Along.

The elderly lady: When I say elderly I mean mid-80's. This lady was so pumped to be at this concert that she couldn't help but let loose. Granted her limited mobility allowed her only to do what I'll call the Octogenarian's Knee Bounce but it was so great to see her enjoying herself to the fullest.

The drunk man and his puppet wife: Apparently the drunk man a few rows in front of us became frustrated with his wife's inability to keep up with his intoxicated swayings, so in order to synchronize them he grabbed the back of her belt and swayed her himself for two entire songs. In his other hand he held up an imaginary lighter and moved it slowly back and forth. He was by far the most annoying of the dancers.

Me: Okay, if I am going to give everyone else a hard time you know I have to do the same to myself. Even I couldn't help but get pulled in by the music. For a while I just did a seated version of the business man's bounce where I shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head somewhat to the rhythm. The trick is to do this and stare intently at the performer. That way you look like you are really into the music but you are so interested in the lyrics that you don't want to let yourself really start dancing. This covers up the fact that you can't dance without someone offering you medical assistance for fear the you are having a seizure. But, then I stood up and I had to really get into it. So I swayed somewhat in rhythm and began to clap high above my head. The trick here is not to just clap once on the beat but to add a double clap in every once in a while to make people think that you might actually understand tempo and beats.

Of course none of this mattered because noone was paying any attention to me. We were all just focused on having a good time and enjoying the music. It really was a great experience to spend time with family and watch a really talented musician entertain. It was a great concert based on the amount of giddy joy you received from hearing those great old songs done in fresh new ways. I recommend it highly.